This weekend won't be my first Mother’s Day as a mom.
Yes, it’s my first Mother’s Day holding and caring for my child, but 3 years ago I was in my car listening to the doctor tell me my blood-work came back and I was (surprise!) pregnant but she wasn’t sure if I was miscarrying or not. I had to wait through Mother’s Day weekend and get retested on that Monday after Mother's Day to see what was happening.
The wait and the unknown was terrifying.
The confirmation that I was having a miscarriage was excruciating.
Fast forward to November of 2017 and an early miscarriage happened again when I hadn’t even realized I was pregnant yet. Honestly, I was in denial and very numb to it. I acted like it wasn't happening and didn't talk about it openly for awhile.
Fast forward to 2018 and I was pregnant with Bennett for 20 wonderful weeks. Losing our Bennett was the greatest pain of my life. I miss him so much.
Now here we are with little miss Charlotte Pepper— our perfect-squishy-cuddly-beautiful 5 week old baby girl who is currently resting on my chest as I write this out. Michael and I are so happy right now but her life doesn’t erase our past pain or negate our love and longing for Bennett.
Mother’s Day can be hard for people for so many different reasons, and it’s also a lovely day to celebrate the beauty of motherhood. Wherever you are in your life's journey, I want to say, I see you, and YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I’m going to host a giveaway in honor of Mother’s Day and I hope it can put a big smile on someone's face, whether you are a mom to children on earth, a mom to children in Heaven, you yearn to be a mom, or you just need a pick-me-up during this weird time of social distancing. Be on the lookout for the details on my Instagram and Facebook!