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Holding Onto Hope

In January 2018, I remembering laying in bed, thinking about being in a season of winter and praying that the hope of spring was around the corner. (The year prior I had housed two souls within me and lost them from miscarriage). An image of flowers popping through freshly fallen snow came to mind and I thought, “I need to take a photo like that.” The words that came to mind were The Birth of Spring.

I scheduled a winter styled photoshoot with a model I knew named Kelena and my hair and makeup stylist friend Michele and got a dress from Emily Hart Bridal. I picked up flowers, and on the day of the shoot, it snowed.

It was therapeutic for me to take these fine art photos that represented so much of me in them. I thought, “I need to take self portraits like this.” So I did. Then God whispered, “You need to take portraits like this for other women.” So I did.

I soon changed the name of the photoshoots to Seasons of Hope. I have been humbled and honored to take these photos for loss moms. These women are strong and beautiful and resilient and brave.

My goal was, and still is, to take fine art photographs that represent a woman’s journey, loss, strength and child(ren).

In the past five years, I’ve connected with old friends and made new ones who have all experienced loss. It’s not a community you would ever want to be a part of but I am thankful for the reminders that we are not alone.

Since our two losses in 2017, I grew our son Bennett within me and held him in my hands when he was stillborn at 20 weeks, gave birth to our miracle rainbow daughter Pepper, and said goodbye to another son, June, who passed from Trisomy 16.

Throughout the different seasons of life, there are times of winter and times of spring. I’ve learned that sometimes these seasons can even coexist. So with every new day, I try to hold on to the hope of spring. I pray you do too.


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